Stress | Devon Hopkins

Most of us could use less stress. With the kind of ridiculous connectivity that we have and the expectation to be constantly “plugged in”, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. And we aren’t only worrying about things that we have to do, but things that we feel like we should do, or could do.

I’m studying abroad in Spain right now. While I don’t have as many have to dos as I do at home, the list of should dos is almost endless (talk with friends, see a bull-fight, make Spanish friends, eat paella, etc).

I am normally good at handling a long to do list, but this shift from have to do to should do has been hard to adjust to, because instead of managing my time, I just get overwhelmed with all the possibilities and usually end up wasting my entire day eating lunch (it’s actually not that hard to do that here).

This change has forced me to think of how I normally manage being overwhelmed, and to adjust that strategy to this new lifestyle of fewer responsibilities and greater possibilities.

So, here’s what we are going to do. Make a list. Making lists is how I solve problems. It clears my mind and is a great distraction when I’m bored in class or at work. This list will have three columns:

Your Have To Dos:

These are your responsibilities. Any deadlines, homework, necessary errands (lack of toilet paper is a “have to”, college students.) or promises/responsibilities you have.

This list can often become overwhelming by itself. For you overachiever’s, you may be so overcommitted that this is the only list you even have time to look at. We’ll talk about how to fix that later.

Your Should Dos:

These are the numerous things you feel obligated to be doing, but generally aren’t. Going to the gym, doing something cultural, keeping in touch with friends, etc.

This list is often not fun to look at and the easiest to ignore.

Your Could Dos:

Here are the fun ones! Things you do to unwind or entertain yourself: watching TV, going out, dancing, napping, eating.

This list contains the activities that you reward yourself with.

So you have your lists. Ideally you’d work from top to bottom until everything was done, but we all know that it doesn’t work like that. We procrastinate, we put things off, we don’t feel like doing things we should do, so we do things we could do instead. Let’s look at 4 of the most common problems people have when they are overwhelmed, and try to come up with some solutions for them. You might have some suggestions for these problems, or strategies that work well for you. Share them with me!

205 by Fuschia Foot on Flickr

Problem #1: You have too many “Have to dos”

Prioritize! Organize your least by most important to least important and work your way down the list. If you have to, plan out your schedule for the next week, hour by hour. I find that I can deal with stress when I have a solid plan for my work and I only get overwhelmed when I am constantly thinking “Oh god, how am I going to do this.”

If you are finding yourself with consistently too many “have to dos”, then maybe you should think about cutting back on something. You’ll do better at the things you really enjoy if you give yourself enough free time to avoid consistently over-stressing.

Problem #2: You are overwhelmed by the number of “should dos” (my problem currently)

Based on your number of responsibilities, set a daily goal of the number of “should dos” you would like to complete every day. Start with one a day. And then do them! If you miss a day, don’t stress, just get back on track tomorrow.

Problem #3: You keep convincing yourself that you “really should do” the things on your “could do” list.

We can all talk ourselves into thinking that we should do things that really aren’t super helpful. Really ask yourself what you are getting out of completing a specific task. While that Grey’s Anatomy episode might teach you how to cauterize an artery, is that really helpful?

kid to do list by Carissa GoodnCrazy on Flickr

Problem #4: The tasks on your “should do” list are daunting, so you procrastinate instead of getting them started.

Break down big tasks into little ones. This is a pretty basic trick against fighting procrastination. Something daunting like “Look for Internship” becomes many manageable tasks like “Finalize Resume”, “Draft Cover Letter”, “Contact Career Center”, “Research Possibilities Online”, etc.