Credit: The Life of Bryan on Flickr

In my last post on Facebook for the Over 40, I showed you how to change your privacy settings to keep your profile safe. Now that you are protected, let’s talk about interacting with friends and family. Here are a few tips for getting the most out of your connections.

1. Don’t be offended when your family members don’t friend you back.

Either you have already experienced this or you will. You friend your favorite nephew and, oh no!, they don’t accept your friend request. Do not take this personally. They probably have not cleaned up their online reputation yet.

Many facebook users, especially younger users, have their entire lives on facebook (they shouldn’t). Instead of feeling rejected, why don’t you point your family member to “How to Create an Exclusive Friends List”. That way, they can friend you and keep their profile private.

2. When responding to a wall post, respond on the other person’s wall.

So, someone wrote on your wall! Great! Now, how do you respond?  Maybe this tip seems obvious to you, but I’ve seen a surprising number of people respond to a wall post by writing on their own wall. This is like receiving a letter and addressing your responding letter to yourself. They will be looking on their wall for a response, not on yours.

When you receive a wall post, click “See Wall to Wall” in the bottom right corner of the box. This shows you the conversation between you and your friend. Now you can type in the response box and the comment will go directly to their wall.

3. Control your feed so you can hear from people you actually care about.

Most people don’t know that the main feed on the facebook homepage is fully customizable. Unless you really want to see everything your 40 random high school friends from 1970 are doing, let me show you how to customize your feed to show you the activity of the friends you really what to hear from.

Now, when you login, your feed will be populated with activity from the people in your exclusive friends list, saving you time sifting through random updates from people you don’t really care about.

4. Create a facebook group for your family.

Facebook groups, while often used to idolize Britney Spears, are also a great tool for families looking for a communal space online. Create a group for your family and start sharing pictures, videos, links, stories, or anything else your family would find interesting.

Credit: Jordan Brock on Flickr

You might still think of Facebook as “that social network for college students” but in the past few years it has become much more than that.  Over 2/3 of Facebooks users are out of college and the fastest growing demographic of users is those 35 years or older.  What does that mean for you?  Well, if you are a college student, you probably have received (or will receive) a friend request from your mom, and if you are a mom, you’re probably feeling like you are missing out on your child’s life.  With 13.9 billion minutes spent on Facebook in April alone, you might have reason to feel like you’re missing something.

There are plenty of guides online for beginners using Facebook. Facebook for Beginners has a good list of guides available online.  If you are looking to do something specific, just type your question into Google and chances are you will find an answer.  I don’t want to regurgitate basic how-to’s that you can find online.  Instead, let me tell you:

The default privacy settings that you want to take a look at: (1) Profile, (2) Search, and (3) News Feed and Wall.  Of the three, you are probably most worried about your Profile Settings.  This area controls who can see you and what specific people can see about you.  Let’s start there!

1. Profile Privacy

The default privacy settings for Facebook allow for everyone to see your information.  You probably don’t want this.  Go through and change the drop-down menu to “Only Friends”.  You have to select this for every element of your profile.  Facebook calls this “increased customizability”, I call it “annoying”, but whatever. Make sure to changes the settings for your contact information as well.

Quick Tip: Still unsure whether your profile is actually private?  Test it!  Type a friend’s name next to the “See how a friend sees your profile” box and Facebook will show you how they would see your profile.

2. Search Privacy

Search visibility depends a lot on the purpose of your facebook account.  Take a minute and ask yourself: why am I on facebook?  Through Search Privacy, you can control who can find you in a search.  I often recommend being searchable, just not viewable.  That way, people can find you if they want, but you control what they see.  Here are the settings I suggest:

3. News Feed and Wall

The last section of your privacy settings, News Feed and Wall, gives you some control over what your friends see on their Feed (their Facebook homepage).  I unchecked all of the fields on my account, but it is really your choice.